A Friday joke about working from home

Find your bare minimum
and stick to it

Establish the least amount of
work you can get away with per day and do not exceed it. For example, three
emails and a colourful graph.



Do not forget that you have a job

24% of home workers can’t remember who they
work for and what they are supposed to be doing.

Write your employer’s name and job title on a
Post-It note and stick it to the wall above your computer – this is a vital
reference tool.



Alternate internet and
television

It’s easy to waste the day
looking at Youtube clips of ghosts ‘caught on security camera’ and buying scarves.
Every two hours, turn off the internet and turn on the television. ‘Doctors’ is
quite good, also ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’.



Perfect a ‘busy voice’

Working from home is all about self-justification,
and key to this is pretending you’re busy. If anyone rings up, tell them you’re
‘up against it’ and ‘flat out’ in a deep, serious voice.



Work in intense bursts
lasting 45 seconds

You can get more done in a
sharp burst of under one minute than in a whole day spent in the office. For
example, open a Word document in a really intense way. Then go and do something
else.



If anyone tries to stop you working
from home, mutter about ‘productivity’ and ‘creativity’

Sooner or later people will realise you’re
dicking about. Fight your corner in true corporate style by looking upset,
putting on a pathetic, whiny voice and saying some things that don’t make
sense.

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