My Blog Is Not A Porn Site

Once upon a time, in 2019 to be precise, I was a star in a reality TV show called, ‘Mums Make Porn‘.

The premise of the three-part show, screened on Channel 4, was about five ordinary mums (including me) being brought together to discover how prolific online porn is; and how accessible it is for children to get hold of whether on their phones or laptops.

The moral message was that porn harms children. It was and is still a message which I firmly believe in.

At the start of filming, the mums were asked to view compilations of hard core porn. It was distressing to watch women being drugged and forced to succumb to sexual acts while they were unconscious.

Watching sexual depictions of teenage girls being forced against their will made me want to run away because my daughter was a teenager then.

Protestations of how the women are ‘willing’ and ‘consenting’ stars in these porn movies and that the parts of teen girls were played by those above the age of consent didn’t wash with me.

Sometimes life imitates art. In other words, those who are curious and want to learn about sex while still young are watching porn and picking up messages that sex is an act of aggression. Their brains are absorbing images of non-consent.

While I am not a psychologist, I know that constant exposure to something can cause one to become numbed to negative messages. In other words, watching violent porn is likely to make you think that that is how the world operates.

This is an online safety issue for children.

Research shows that media has a tremendous capacity to teach. Excessive media use, particularly where the content is violent, gender-stereotyped, and/or sexually explicit, skews children’s world view, increases high-risk behaviors, and alters their capacity for successful and sustained human relationships

How Pornography Harms Children: The Advocate’s Role (americanbar.org)

I was exposed to the porn industry at very close quarters while filming the show. While I didn’t personally witness anything which transgressed boundaries, nevertheless, the stories which abound about how women are treated by the porn industry made me question whether I wanted to stay on till the end of filming.

The five mothers were expected to direct professional porn actors and produce an ‘acceptable’ version of a porn movie that would incorporate elements of what constituted a healthy sexual relationship i.e intimacy, consideration and consent.

As the time grew closer to the end, my anxiety and doubts accelerated. Witness me in the following video (I appear five seconds in) looking absolutely distressed at witnessing the making of porn first hand.

Struggling with my conscience, I could not quite comprehend how producing a porn film that would be the antithesis of the rottenness of mainstream porn films would make a difference. These films already exist even if not quite as popular as the trashy ones.

However, the main point I couldn’t flinch away from was that even a ‘good’ porn film would still be adding to the every growing porn industry.

I left the show with a heavy heart. Having made good friends with the cast and crew, it felt a wrench leaving after some months of filming. I wrote about my reasons for the Huffpost.

Given my intransigence about porn, I find it extremely irritating that I get referral traffic to this/my blog from porn sites. The search terms on this/my blog are pretty disgusting and are ones that I have never and will never use.

So prolific is porn watching that simply having the word ‘porn’ on a blog acts as a magnet for sick types who look for porn in the most ludicrous of places. It seems to justify my departure from the show on one of the grounds being that I did not wish to add to the sea of porn out there.

Having said all this I am SO glad that I did participate in the show as much as I did because it did help other parents who, either, weren’t aware of how easily their children could watch online porn or had problems talking about sex to their children.

I went on This Morning to give my point of view. After the show was screened on Channel 4 in March 2019, I was constantly stopped on the streets by parents who told me that my viewpoint had helped them.

My ethos in life has always been to help others. Being told by strangers that I had aided their conversations with their children made me feel like I had accomplished something eventhough I left halfway.

For this reason, I object to people coming onto my blog expecting to find explicit content. Now, sod off.

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