“With two clicks of my first search I could have watched Girl Gets Raped” – Mums Make Porn

Sarah is one of the five mums starring in ‘Mums Make Porn’ and took the photographs for the final episode

‘Mums Make Porn’ was Channel 4’s highest rated show in the first week of Episode 1 (3 episodes in total) being screened. It features five mums, including me, who set out to raise awareness of how easily children can access pornography. We were shown violent hardcore pornography and were left feeling shocked to the core.

Sarah cried upon watching graphic rape-based content. This touched many people. A number of mothers have been in contact to express sympathy and empathy. She is a loving mother of two and is a talented photographer.

This is Sarah’s story of her involvement with ‘Mums Make Porn’.

I wanted to be involved in ‘Mums Make Porn’ for many reasons.

Before making this documentary, I had never spoken to my children about sex. While this may seem naive, I bet that there are many other parents of teenagers who feel the same way. I was embarrassed to do it and sensed that their embarrassment was equal to or bigger than mine was.

I was also incredibly aware of the amount of young adults and children looking at and having easy access to hardcore porn and who were using this as a substitute for sex education.

It was never on my radar that my children could have such easy access. I had taught and would repeatedly have age appropriate conversations with my girls about internet safety, I had implemented the parent safety control but not once did I think that porn was literally two clicks away.

So began my research into online porn and, in particular, it was the hardcore online pornography that grabbed my attention. As far as free online porn goes, it is this side that has the most online content with 88% of online porn showing violence. This is why it grabbed my attention fully in the face. I didn’t have to search for long and it was not buried deep within some dark corner of the web. Within two clicks of my 1st search I could have watched ( but chose not to) ‘girl gets raped’.

This broke me. It raised questions like, even in the world of fantasy, how is this even OK? How can we have a #MeToo campaign to raise awareness of how countless and untold rapes occur when you can perpetuate this idea within two clicks?

Sarah, Jane (me), Emma, Sarah Louise and Anita

Young adults and children are not, realistically, going to be paying for porn. I believe that it is only 3% of all porn users that actually pay for content websites. The chances are that young adults and children will be viewing the free online stuff and a lot of this is hardcore porn.

Obviously this (porn) is an industry whose business model has changed dramatically in such a short time due to the internet. No longer do people need to go into sex shops and purchase a DVD. Now you can have instant free access online. And these free videos, of which’s 1000s are made every month, are produced in the hope that their videos will get the most traffic.

The downside to this is that porn producers need their videos to be more extreme than the others to compete successfully. It is the young adults and inexperienced that are getting caught up in this mass campaign for more clicks.

The criticism which the mums and I personally have had is that we are sex shaming young adults and, also that, misogynistic and violent porn is just a fantasy and that there are other kinds of porn out there. There have been articles about MY poor attitude towards sex because I find violent aggressive porn upsetting.

I know the difference between punish f…ing and consensual kink.

And because I didn’t talk about my sexual preference, because my absolute and only focus was on the effects hard core punish f…ing could have on young adults, then this meant that I have a poor attitude towards sex.

Apparently… who knew… ?

I wanted to display consent in the film which the mums made (Episode 3) but the concept of consent used in violent porn films which was upsetting to me has been publicly pulled apart. It has, in reverse, been used as some kind of shame against me. It kind of feels like utter irony! But I guess some people missed the point.

Sarah at the premiere of ‘Four Play’

The point of our film was to show what easy accessible FREE hard core porn does not:
Consent
Constant consent
Safe sex
Respect
Equal pleasure

To have included group sex, anal, and anything in the film which the mums and I made would have been a dangerous decision. I kept thinking about my eldest daughter, I felt a massive sense of responsibility towards teenagers and young adults who had not had sex and who would be wondering what it was all about. This was the equivalent of me having an indirect chat about sex to the inexperienced.

I wanted to portray the basics of sex and not what the more sexually experienced would enjoy.

The criticism which I have encountered on social media equates to having a go at the person who is training for a 5k run as to why they are not doing a marathon. Does this mean that they must have a poor attitude towards running!

This ‘Mums Make Porn’ film is not aimed at the consumer market that has had sexual experience. This film is aimed at the inexperienced. This film is not about my sexual preference but forms the foundations of a healthy sex life for the next young adult generation.

I am proud of what we have created, and the conversations that have been created because of this. Let’s hope it empowers our next generation to have sex on their own terms, not what they feel they should and should not be doing.

I hope that us mums empower other mums… we are relevant.

I hope that ‘Mums Make Porn’ will highlight how our young men are bombarded with negative media messages on sexuality. These messages storm their brains and contribute to masochistic behaviour.

Sarah Louise and Sarah

Mental health is the biggest killer for men under the age of 45. Let’s show them humanity and equality at play. Let’s show that you don’t have to be rough and violent to be a man in the bedroom. Believe me you will be talked about across the land for giving a woman the most amount of pleasure.

I hope that the film will teach our young women to go out an explore what feels right for them. To no longer feel the pressures of what is obligated from a woman in the bedroom. That you are a sexual creature entitled to what feels right for you, your body and your pleasure.

I hope that porn consumers will be more ethical in what they are viewing. PAY for your porn. You are not an innocent bystander. The porn industry is reacting to your consumerism.

I can but hope.

Episode 3 will be screened on 3 April on Channel 4 at 10pm

Sarah specialises in female empowerment photography and weddings. She has her own photography studio at Red Shoe Makeover.

Follow:
Share:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

First Malaysian to appear on British Reality TV