The cat from ‘Mums Make Porn’ breaks her silence

Taken from The Metro

Wow, you are THE cat who, apparently, stole the show.

My talent for looking bored at the right moment and sitting like a human being has finally been recognised. How hard does a cat have to work! Why should Larry the Downing Street cat hog (pun intended) all the fame? By the way, I do have a name. It’s Kitt. Spelt with two T’s. We don’t refer to you as ‘humans’. Have some respect. Being referred to just as ‘the cat from Mums Make Porn’ makes me feel invisible within my fur. Not a nice feline, sorry, I mean not a nice feeling.

Tell us about your route to fame?

This is where I get all emotional. It is a sad tale with a happy ending. A rags to fame story. I was an abused cat. Spent the first two years of my life in a home which was overcrowded with cats. My owners were neglectful of me. The other cats hated me and lashed out at me because I was the youngest of the lot. Consequently, I lived under a cupboard for fear of being scratched and bitten. When Jane and her daughter, Maelo (who is the love of my life) took me in, I lived under the corner unit for two weeks believing that was how all cats lived. I am alright now. Being on TV has helped me chase the demons away. I love watching TV.

Me watching ‘Elf’ Winter 2018

Tell everyone about the day you were ‘rescued’

Ha ha, it was the day of Margaret Thatcher’s funeral. Jane was fighting her way through the crowds when she got a phone call to say the application had been approved. People keep making jokes about how I am the reincarnation of Thatcher. Nothing funny in that at all. There is absolutely no way that I would carry a handbag or dress in Blue. Tortoiseshell is the new black. Haven’t you heard?

You look like you sit around doing nothing. Do you have any hobbies?

That accusation is very hurtful and discriminatory. Once we were seen as the fur ball that lounges about the place. We used to be invisible in the home but no one puts a cat in the corner anymore. There is so much for us to do these days. I am a fan of ‘Yoga for Cats’. Montage making. A spot of sunbathing every now and then. I watch reruns of ALF – so much hatred for cats.

Do you have any views on porn?

Don’t get me started! (Kitt meows furiously at this point and we have to stop the interview for treats).

I abhor the sexualisation of cats through the use of the word ‘pussy’. Makes my fur stand up. I feel sorry for beavers too for suffering from the same objectification. In fact, cats and beavers ought to team up and start a #metoo movement. I am a proud female cat and I will stand up for my rights.

A bit of a political cat, perhaps?

That Larry is useless isn’t he? Walks in and out through the doors of No 10 without making any point whatsoever.

Do you have a view on Brexit?

Someone of your stature needs to champion a cause

I worry about Maelo’s safety all the time. If she’s not home when it gets dark I stand at the front door and meeow my head off. A bit of a problem in Winter time because I am meeowing from 4pm and get exhausted by 6pm. Much easier in Summer. You hear so many stories about violence against women. The world would be a much nicer place without feral males. Some nights we lie awake till she comes home in the wee hours after being out clubbing. Fun for her but not for us. Oh, there was this one night when she came home with four friends at 2am. They were everywhere. After being up half the night waiting for her I then didn’t get any sleep for all the noise that they made. Teenagers! I am all for gun control. The NRA has not met a fierce cat yet has it? Bunch of moggies.


Any plans for the summer seeing that you love sunbathing?

Half the family hail from New Zealand. I hear that it is a sunny beachy sort of place. Never seen a sheep in my life. I have heard that they are pretty monosyllabic animals. If ‘baah’ is all you can say then I can’t see us getting on. Jane is from Malaysia. I have heard sad stories about the street cats scrounging for food. Kesian (pity).

Any last words?

Filming for ‘Mums Make Porn’ started late last year. It’s been a fun but difficult time too. We are a bunch of feminists and needed to find a way to make things work for Jane. There was one night (we have many of these) when we stayed up talking about her options. We fell asleep with our clothes and fur on. Euugh. Keep fighting against porn that objectifies and dehumanises women and cats.

Maelo and I

P/S If you are wondering how I managed to give this interview think about how Groot stole the show in ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’. Likewise, Meeoww is a language unto itself.

‘Mums Make Porn’ Episode 1 aired on March 20 and can be viewed here

Watch Episode 2 on March 27 on Channel 4 at 10pm. A pivotal episode for the family.

Family photo taken by John Russell

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First Malaysian to appear on British Reality TV